Mustard Seed Faith.

Went to my psychiatrist. Last time I was there she upped me to a higher dose, (which I never started taking) and I showed up this time telling her I was coming off. I wish I had been able to capture the look on her face when I said it, it was pretty priceless. It was a lot like this:

Only she didn't have a mic and shes Russian and a she. After her moment of bewilderment she flipped through my file reminding me of the multiple emotional disorders I have as well as the 80% fail rate particularly based on my "genetic machinery". Then she told me she had to tell me all that but the choice was mine. So I asked what the next step was. She wrote me a prescription for the lowest dose and told me to take one and a half for the first week, then just one, followed by just half and then none at which point I am to report back to her. She said the fact that I hadn't had any withdrawal symptoms having cut back on my own was a good sign. So I am officially in it guys. I stepped off the sand, into the water and I am wading out.
What is really awesome is that since I started juicing which is almost a month ago now, I have not had to take a Xanax. I have had two instances when I felt super anxious and had to get inside my head and calm myself down, but did so totally without the help of medicine. This is HUGE for me, because typically I would struggle with anxiety throughout every day. I may not need to take narcotics for it but I am generally constantly staving off a panic attack. The whole issue is just a daily struggle even being on meds so the fact that I have felt as good as I have is almost alarming. It makes me nervous, like this is some calm before the storm, which is dumb considering I really do believe God is taking care of it. I guess I am only human and doubt is to be expected, even when there has yet to be a good reason for it.
Doubt is so funny in terms of faith, though. I was watching this televangelist that I actually really like named Jesse Duplantis. He's an older, straight outta Louisiana, full of faith and funny as can be sort of preacher. I had him on the TV mostly as background noise while I was doing something on the computer so I wasn't listening intently but I heard him say "Faith is so powerful that God had to put a dimension on it..." He was talking about a mustard seed. God had to literally size faith down to a tiny little seed in order for us wrap our silly little heads around its power. If faith as small as a mustard seed can literally move mountains imagine what faith the size of a peach pit might do.

He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” -Matthew 17:20

I have a ton of other things to write about tonight but my family has started a movie so I have to run. Till next time friends.