I didn't intend for today to be a "cheat" day, as I really have had no desire to eat anything other than what I have been eating. My cravings for junk have completely subsided and small portions fill me up. I have actually been eating to live rather than living to eat, which had you told me I would have accomplished this a month ago I would have laughed at you and then cried at my assumed lack of self control.
It started at breakfast. I need groceries really bad and didn't wanna feed the kids Nutella toast so we went to a little cafe. I had an egg and some bacon- no biggie, but they didn't have raw sugar. I had to use processed sugar in my coffee. I use the term "had to" loosely here, clearly I didn't HAVE to have coffee at all. So that is what started it. Then I had to buy lunch at school. My school actually makes a wicked good salad for cheap so I wasn't concerned about it until the salad maker man couldn't hear me when I said "STOP" on the blue cheese crumbles. Pretty sure it was a 2lb salad and at least half of that was in blue cheese alone. I left a lot of it but it was there so I "had" to have a little. Fast forward to dinner, still haven't grocery shopped, no time, we go to Panda Express. I have a veggie bowl with some spicy chicken which seems innocent enough if we ignore the whole MSG thing. I was FREAKING STUFFED and so was my family but we just happened to have gift cards to Coldstone and there just happened to be one right next door to Panda Express. I didn't get anything but I definitely ate some of Presley's cotton candy with Oreo and Travis' death by chocolate with extra chocolate in a chocolate waffle bowl.
Can I just tell you I feel like a TOTAL trashcan? I look like I am 5 months pregnant, my stomach is upset, and I am disappointed in myself. I'm not all, "ERMEHGEHRD ER SERK ERT LERF" because I know I could have made WAY worse choices, but my streak was pretty epic. Now I feel like I need to run a marathon and drink juice only for two days to clear my system of what shall forever be remembered as "Chemical Thursday".
So I took this job as a TA right? Well the professor I am working for is pretty much always 5 to 10min late to her first class. No biggie, but it puts me in the front of the room staring out at 60 college students who are staring back at me for what feels like an awfully long time. The first day no one spoke, it was just silent until the teacher arrived. The next day I was letting them know what they would be doing, writing some crap on the board for them blah blah blah, and I make a joke, (which typically I am witty enough that someone at least smirks), NOTHING. 60 blank faces.
"Okay so I typically find out much after the fact that people are really intimidated by me because they think I am "hardcore" or whatever. I need you all to know that I am about as far from hardcore as one could possibly get. I did not take this job for the teeny amount of money I make, I took it because I really liked the class and I want to help you. That to say, please do not be scared to talk to me. I am not mean and I am not going to hit you."
I swear on magic carpets ya'll, there was an AUDIBLE sigh of relief and people immediately pepped up and even joked with me. It was a very strange experience because I say I know people are intimidated by me, but now there is no doubt, it is just the truth and it is SO bizarre. I feel like I should just walk around with a disclaimer sign around my neck so people will be friends with me. OR I could just walk around with only this face always:
The food in my teeth is a total bonus- it's a Panda Express/Coldstone combo. Shame my nose ring post isn't fully hanging out because then it would look like I had boogers too. I suppose this look wouldn't make me many friends either, but at least I wouldn't be taken so damn seriously. My mom loves when I make this face. It's her favorite.
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