Day Ten.

I would like to start today's blog with a moment of silence in appreciation of the fact that school has resumed which means I have 6 whole hours to myself M-F until I go back to school.


......................................................

Amen.

So this morning I wanted to start off my selfie time right by not sitting on the couch watching Netflix all day and decided I would return to Iron Mountain and give it another go. I made my juice and blended it with a banana and some frozen fruit to make sure I had legit substance in my belly and off I went. It was really windy and the wind was blowing completely against me. It wasn't very long before I realized my body was not going to cooperate with the 6+ mile round trip hike I had hoped for. I can only assume it has something to do with not having had any good carbs in my diet thus causing a lack of energy. I am generally pretty capable of things like that but I knew better than to push myself this morning so I ended up going about a mile up then back and another mile down a little side trail. I would have kept going down the side trail except the further I walked and realized NO ONE was on the trail the more I began to think of episodes of "I Shouldn't Be Alive" about rattlesnake bites or cougar mauling and news stories about women out for a jog being murdered and left to die in the dirt. So I turned around, better safe than sorry. I did take some lovely pictures though! I have this ridiculous love of what I will call "small miracles", like insects, plants, deep sea creatures and the like. Something about the complexity of such things never ceases to amaze me as well as serving to remind me of the unsurpassed creativity of our Creator.

  Now that I am over the hump and in the juice thing without much struggle I feel like my head is free to think about all sorts of things. Mostly right now about continuing on in this lifestyle change and getting my family involved and excited, but I also have this renewed positivism about life in general. I actually caught myself thinking in depth about the motivational poster quote "Be the change you want to see in the world!" Now if you know me, this is SO out of character. I am a realist to the core and I will be the first to tell you "following your dreams" is nice, but probably really impractical. I just have never had a "YES WE CAN!" Rosie the Riveter/Obama sort of outlook on life, until now. I think it has come with my determination to follow through with the juicing. I have followed through with other things, (not a lot mind you), but this has been a legitimate test of overcoming physical desire by retraining my mind and I am doing it. It makes me feel like I really can not only achieve my own goals but also have an affect on others. I feel inspirational and it is a really good feeling.

I have also stepped up to a whole new level of holism and granola.

WARNING: This information may be TMI for those of you who just aren't into natural medicine or talking about vagina problems. 

So about 4 days into my juicing I felt like I was on the cusp of a yeast infection, something I have dealt with on less occasions than I have fingers. Apparently this is not uncommon when juicing, considering the amount of sugar you are getting from fruit and the fact that yeast feeds on sugar. I didn't want to take anything, again because it seemed counterproductive to put junk in my body whilst trying so hard to get junk out. I figured I would give it a day or two and see where I was. Nothing got out of hand but I wasn't really getting better either so I went to a whole foods place and bought some natural yeast fighting pills. I figured this was a good start, but a large portion of treating that sort of problem is less through the mouth and more in the actual vagina. So I did what this blog has made strikingly apparent that I always do, I googled.
I googled and I found this: garlic. The first lady just straight stuck a peeled garlic clove inside herself and fished it out later, which did not sound like something I was interested in. The next person mentioned a mesh tea bag which I don't have. And then I found it....peel the garlic, cut the ends off and with a needle and thread, thread through the center of the garlic a few times and knot it off so what you have is like a garlic tampon. Then, do what you do with a tampon and go bout your bidness. It advised to start the procedure in the evening because magically you can taste the garlic IN YOUR MOUTH while its marinating and munching down on yeast in your vag.
So I totally did it. Left it in all night and put a new one in this morning. It is an odd concept but it is a WHOLE lot better than that nasty over the counter mess you would normally buy. It also seems to be working so I plan on keepin it up till it is totally better. I hope you all know how miraculous it is that I am even SHARING this information because NO ONE wants to talk about sad vaginas. The fact of the matter is that yeast lives in your body at all time, and certain foods, meds and other things can cause an overgrowth. In fact, we are all probably suffering from candida (yeast) overgrowth but have not experienced outward symptoms that we recognize as such. If you want to know more about the common symptoms of candida overgrowth and how to test yourself Dr.Oz will fill you in here.
If you have stuck it out till now, you are awesome. It is time for me to make some juice so I am gonna mosey off my soapbox and return to reality. God Bless YOUR day!!!

PS. I emailed the Pastor of the church, which was not the guy I met yesterday, and he emailed me back right away with his phone number asking if I would please call him. I did and he explained what seemed to have been lost in translation in the conversation I had with the guy there. He was really apologetic and quite lovely so I am gonna check it out next Sunday. 

Day Nine.

I have to just vent right now about something that has nothing to do with juice because I am SO agitated. We have lived in California for 2 years and I have yet to find a church I feel at home in, (that is a whole other blog), so today I was excited to try a new one about 10min from home. I checked out their website and the service times were 8am, 9am and 10:45am with the 8am service calling itself "express" for people looking to get the message and get out. So we head out for the 10:45am service and when I get there the parking lot is empty. I thought for a moment maybe they just weren't at that location anymore or they were doing a special service at a different location but when I got around to the main doors they were open. I peep my head in and there is a dude on the stage so I say, "....Hello....is there no service today??" The gentleman walks over and tells me they only did the 8am and 9am services because the Chargers are playing. Okay- I don't understand any of that because I cannot wrap my head around peoples obsession with professional sports but I can pretend to sort of see if you have a super footbally church why you would do that. So then he says, "Are you on our Facebook group?" I don't have Facebook and it is my first time there. I did check the WEBSITE which is where ANYONE who hasn't been there would go to check service times and NOTHING was mentioned. He lets me know that if the Chargers win today next week will be the same thing. Now, I am fairly sure this guy was the lead pastor based on the pic I saw on the site. He did not introduce himself to me, he did not ask my name, he did not apologize for the confusion, he just told me to download the podcast. Really? Seriously? The whole thing was such a turn off and SO frustrating I won't even go back.
I try really hard to not be judgy about church experiences. The problem I have is that I have been a part of a REALLY fantastic church. 2 of them. Both who made church feel like home as well as reaching out to the community. I have yet to find a church here with both of those features, which to me are what makes a church. Everything is either mega church, which does AMAZING things in the community but is very difficult to connect in, or a small community church that caters to the people that are already there, IE: "Sorry we aren't having service because we all watch football". My church searching has made me SO exhausted and turned off from church in general which is really disheartening and sad because I know the importance of community. Sigh. I'm done now. Lets talk about juice.
So I think I am at a point where food isn't an issue. I didn't feel like I was struggling during Chic-fil-A yesterday at lunch or the tri-tip last night. I don't care to snack in the evening while watching TV and I can't think of anything that I just really wish I could eat. I know I really should be drinking more water, something that has always been REALLY difficult for me. I don't get thirsty and many times have to force myself to drink anything at all. That to say I am really trying today to constantly have water in hand. Which leads me to my next thought....the Master Cleanse.
Okay. So after my little bit of research about poop yesterday and the fact that I just haven't pooped the way I would like to so far during this fast I did some more in depth research concerning the Master Cleanse. I think my mom did this back in the 90s when it first got popular and I had a friend who swore by it as an annual habit, as well as hearing bits and pieces about it from TV, internet and whatever. I never did my own research though. SO based on what I have learned thus far, I am thinking I may transition from my juice fast to a 10 day Master Cleanse. It seems tried and true in the legit cleansing of your GI tract and I will already be ahead of the game having not eaten solid food for 14 days. I am a little apprehensive after the sips of salt water I had yesterday as well as just thinking about 10 days of nothing but lemon, syrup and cayenne water. I am going to do some more digging but at this point the opportunity to flush out years worth of waste in 10 days is pretty appealing.You can find out more about it here.

*Note- If you decide to do your own digging about this cleanse you will find a ton of information on how terrible it is for you on places like WebMD and the like. If this sort of information scares you, I strongly urge you to research what health looks like from a holistic standpoint vs. what Dr's tell us and then make your decision. Watching Food Matters would be a great place to start!*

I will end this wordy entry with a thought I had this morning on my way to the non church service. I was thinking about all the different recipes I have been looking at over the past few days in preparation for eating again. Specifically I was thinking about the raw carrot cake balls I was so excited about last night. I had this moment where the idea that life shouldn't revolve around food seemed so clear in my mind. I have held this little nugget of truth in the wayback of my brain for many many years but I don't think it has ever seemed to make so much sense. We spend so much time thinking about, planning for and preparing what we eat. Social life generally revolves around meals, we love ourselves and each other by using food as a reward as well as punishing ourselves by eating when we aren't feeling our best. What would life look like if food was only used as nourishment and fuel for actually LIVING. And what would LIVING look like?? What would we do if we spent time with friends and family not around a kitchen table? How would our time be spent if life did not revolve around when and what we would eat next?? I do not have these answers but I think they are valuable questions. Don't get me wrong, there is NOTHING wrong with wanting healthy food that tastes really good nor is there anything wrong with enjoying the culture of sharing meals and breaking bread- something that can be traced all the way to the Bible. I am just proposing that what that looked like with Jesus is really far removed from what we do today and perhaps our practices could use reevaluation.

PS. My mom and sister are on their 5th day of juicing and I could NOT be prouder!!!!!

Day Eight.

I went out as DD last night for some friends, which was fine, I have no issue not drinking alcohol its not my thing. However their drunken munchies landed us at Denny's around 1am and I sat and drank crappy Lipton orange spice tea (all they had), whilst they chowed down on club sandwiches, fries and nachos. They felt really bad about eating in front of me, but I was fine and they DEFINITELY needed carbs in their tummies. I did add some honey to my tea which was not raw but the tea was so bad I hadn't a choice.
Felt great this morning, well rested and energetic. We are having last minute guests today so I ran out for dinner groceries (more tri-tip). It was also time to restock my produce and I was super stoked to find some different fruits on sale at the store! I got kiwi, blackberry, honeydew melon, pear, mango and pineapple- all different than what I have been juicing. I stuck with kale, spinach, cucumber and celery for my greens since I have adjusted to their taste. I also juice the beet root greens which I am not sure taste too much like anything. Oh- and I got red cabbage and cauliflower which I am curious about.
I have to be honest here, I am really bad about washing produce. At most I generally dash it under the sink stream and move on. I know I know, it's disgusting, but like many other things concerning my health I have just been so lazy. I am a very black and white sort of gal. If you cant do 100% don't even bother is sort of how I function in certain areas. For instance, if you can't eat all organic all the time then what is the point of rinsing off the apple you are eating. You don't have to tell me how ridiculous that is, I know. I think it is how I justify my laziness. BUT NOT TODAY! Today I decided that if I am going to work hard at my health I cannot ignore the fact that properly cleaning produce especially if it isn't organic (which I cannot always afford), is uber importante. (Check out my sweet linguistics skills). SO as I do for any question which needs an answer I consulted Dr.Google and found that an adequate produce wash consists of 2 parts water 1 part white vinegar. It took me about 20 minutes, but I soaked and rinsed everything I bought and this was the result:

SO GROSS. You can't see it in the image but the bottom of the glass was coated in dirt and silt. Normally I would have ingested all that. Talk about toxins. I am generally of the opinion that "God made dirt and dirt don't hurt", but considering the amount of feces and chemicals in fertilizer these days I understand that dirt actually can hurt and I will never not wash my produce in this concoction again. Now, lets all forget that I have been practically drinking a glass of this everyday for God knows how long and move forward. (No judgement). 

I also have had some issue with the poop. The poop has not been all that I hoped it would be and I was again, googling, and found an idea from the Master Cleanse diet which included drinking 32oz of salt water and lying on your side for 30min. I got about 4 good gulps down before I thought I might vomit and decided I would rather not poop. I understand all the fiber info involved in juicing and how the juice is absorbed directly in the body but I am hard pressed to think that my GI tract has been so well functioning for the past few years that there is no build up. My stomach has just felt gurgley, like I need to use the bathroom but there isn't anything there. Enough about my bowels, I have now made it through lunch at Chic-fil-A and tri-tip with fried potatoes and corn.

HALFWAY!!!! (AKA Day Seven)

                                                                                                         

 

HALFWAY!!! HALFWAY!!! Woke up this morning feeling well rested and ready to go, pretty excited to be halfway there and 7 days closer to EATING! I did some research last night and decided I want to try less fruit in my drinks for the second half. I don't feel like I am breaking the 80/20, (80%veg 20%fruit per drink) rule but I think at this point I can handle a little more of mowed lawn flavor than in the beginning.This morning I had a huge portion of greens with only one apple and half a lemon squeezed in and it was less than desirable but drinkable. I am also going to try and buy different produce than I did for the first half. I have enough to last me a day or two more but when I hit the market I want to get a new spread of color and flavor. 

I have also been rooting around on different sites trying to find vegan and whole food recipes for once I am eating again. There are a ton of what seem to be really great ones out there and I am really excited to try them. I haven't wanted to or enjoyed cooking for about 2 years now so to feel excited about meal preparation feels really good. I am hoping to slowly but surely incorporate the good stuff into my families diet so that they are eventually eating whole foods more often than not. I am trying not to have unrealistic expectations considering the reality of life and the fact that my husband is at this point, a lost cause. (He actually bought SPAM because he wanted it). I do think it is totally possible to make enough little changes that the result will be big. Baby steps is where it's at. If you would like to check out the Paleo/vegan style meals I am looking forward to making check out my Pinterest board!

In light of reaching my halfway point I decided to watch Food Matters as a motivation boost for the remainder of this reboot. SO terrifying to come to terms with the facts about modern medicine and malnutrition. We are so blinded by the people we trust, (DRs) that we honestly cannot imagine that organic and raw foods could literally cure disease. Diseases like CANCER, which is currently treated with cancer causing drugs. If you have not watched this I highly recommend it. I am stoked for my dinner tonight and even more stoked about changing the lives of myself and my family for the long term. WE DON'T HAVE TO HAVE CANCER, HEART DISEASE or CARDIOVASCULAR ILLNESSES. This planet was MEANT and CREATED to sustain us, it is our own chemical modification and creation of foods that is killing is. Ignorance is bliss but it is also killing us.

Day Six

Went to bad last night with a seriously annoying headache as well as a little bit of a loopy feeling. I was really not in a good mood the latter part of yesterday afternoon and I was hoping for a good nights sleep and a burst of new energy in the AM. I didn't get either. The good nights sleep was a stretch because I was on a couch so I should have accepted that wasn't going to happen before I thought about it, but I woke up and STILL had a headache which was disheartening. I am really trying to avoid taking something for it because I would prefer to let it work itself out. Seems sort of counterproductive to not eat food but wash down unnecessary pharmaceuticals. Also, I am pretty sure it is a sinus issue and those meds not only have pain killers but also caffeine so I am toughing it out. We headed home after breakfast and the drive did not help the headache. 2 hours in the car, sun directly ahead and an ascent to 5000ft above sea level only to come right back down just added to my misery.
I'm whining. Lets move forward.
I did decide today I need to switch up my juice atleast for a moment to feel like I was taking in something new and different. I decided to just start concoting and the end product looks really bad but tastes like a smoothie! I shall call it The Green Banana, and it makes enough for 2 servings!

The Green Banana

3 leaves Swiss chard                                            
3 leaves kale
1 lg orange
1 lg carrot
1 celery stalk

Juice above ingredients and immediately blend with 2 bananas and pour second serving in airtight jar to be refrigerated. Once you have a serving size left add ice and blend again. Pour and enjoy!

Other than that today has been uneventful. Nothing productive or life changing, no cool pictures for the blog, just a lot of bumming around trying to not feel like I just want to sleep thru the next 3 days. I keep waiting to just not want to eat but at this point I am convinced that eating is so innate in us that the desire on whatever level will never just cease, and if it does something major is going on. Forget all the cultural, social, whatever- aspects we have created about and around food, chewing is in our DNA. We are meant to eat and going so completely against such a natural instinct is rough, even though it is temporary and totally what my body needs right now. I don't want a cheeseburger or supreme pizza, I just want a spoon and an avocado or cherry tomatoes drizzled with balsamic.
I will say I am pretty stoked with myself for not caving over New Years mini vacation. I really can't believe I pushed through, so much so I feel like I ate something and just don't remember. Tomorrow is my halfway point and I am really praying for a smooth ride to the end.

PS. My mom started juicing yesterday and is so far doing well! I am so proud of her!!!

Day Five.

9:20am (AZ)- I decided to do today in chunks so I wasn't sitting around for an hour at the end of the night ignoring the fact that we are at someone else's house.

I woke up this glorious New Years morning with an amazing cute little puppy licking my ear. He got a little playful and nipped me- next thing I know there is blood everywhere and my husband, (who has practically cut his finger tips OFF out in the garage and treated them with a car oil caked bandaid), tells me I may need stitches. If you don't know me, my ears are stretched almost 1.5 inches- the puppy got me on my lobe and according to witnesses there was a bit of the inside on the outside. White meat. The hubby flushed it with alcohol which was way more bearable than I thought it would be and I didn't bleed out so that was good. I will have to keep my plugs out though which sucks because my holey, floppy earlobes ain't cute.

Once I received adequate wound care I went to pee. Much to my surprise my urine was about the color of syrup which was alarming considering I'm drinking more now than I ever have in my life. Me and my anxiety disorder were certain it was a kidney shutdown so I did what all intelligent people do when they need answers and went straight to Google. Turns out it's all the beets I've been drinking. Carrots may have the same effect, so for anyone out there drinking their veggies do not be alarmed by kidney transplant colored urine.

I've finished my cup of hot lemon water now so it's time to make breakfast. The whole house smells like sausage and pancakes but I feel confident this morning and think I can manage juicing in the kitchen with all the breakfast treats hanging out. Until later, enjoy these photos of the bloodthirsty monster who pulled out my white meat!

12:35pm (AZ)- Currently at Jack in the Box, which isn't as painful as smelling the 4lb pork roast searing in the cast iron skillet at the house. 

That baby along with a crapton of sauerkraut is chillin in the crockpot like a tasty beast. I'm guessing dinner time will suck the worst as the pattern has been. I think Starbucks, or any delicious coffee product is still at the top of my list of wants. When this is over I'm headed to my venti something or other and I'm gonna drink the S out of it. I can give up a lot of things but enormous chemically altered for flavor coffee at outrageous prices is not one of them. Anyway we are on our way to shoot some guns in the desert. I'm gonna pretend whatever I'm shooting at is my juicer and yell things like, "Clean yourself you lazy Jack!" Here, look at these: 

5:53pm (AZ)- I'm hungry and I don't want anymore juice. I don't wanna juice dinner or clean up after juicing my dinner or drink juice for dinner. I don't wanna drink anything. No tea, no water. I have a headache and this house smells SO delicious that the air alone is making me angry. I made the kids peanut butter celery and I licked the spoon. I don't want this to be hard, I just want to be all alive and energized and disinterested in all the food that I know is so bad for me on so many levels. I wanna look at everyone shoving their faces with fried everything and waiting in line at buffets and judge them because being healthy is so easy for me. It isn't. It never has been and I feel sure it won't ever be. I know easy never got anyone anywhere but it sure is nice. 

Day Four

We are celebrating New Years with good friends so I had to pack up my juicer and produce for a bit of a road trip. I didn't think it would be any harder being here than at home since everyone at home is eating....I was wrong. First of all- I am a huge Starbucks fiend and not having that has probably been harder than not having food especially to start off a mini road trip properly. When we got here I juiced lunch straight away but it didn't curb my desire for the jalapeño Cheetos being munched on. Pretty much wanted to eat all afternoon and no matter how hard I tried my mind kept wondering back to Starbucks and anything crunchy out of a bag. Fast forward to dinner time....
I took photos of the delicious grilled brauts, macaroni salad and cornucopia of chip flavors but I'm doing this from my phone and it won't let me upload them- all for the better because I was so ready to grab up a sausage and eat it in the bathroom. The only problem would have been that no one would care except me and I can't keep a secret from myself. Wanwanwan. So I drank some sweet potato, carrot, apple, pepper, beet juice. I let my friend have some and she didn't make it past a sip. There were also cupcakes. So many cupcakes. I just keep making tea. I don't even like tea. I didn't think my hardest day would be day 4- maybe it's the fact that we aren't home and eating is such a social behavior. I'm working on teaching myself that food is for living but we shouldn't live for food. Our culture has such a backwards way of thinking about eating and I have gladly taken part in it my whole life which makes change SO difficult. I see the social eating and eating out of boredom in my kids already and they are still young enough to readapt without something as drastic as this. It pains me to watch my kids eat chicken nuggets and chips while I drink pure nutrients and I am so ready to reteach them good habits. Once the fast is over I fully plan on predominantly clean  eating- minimal processed foods, minimal gluten and I know my kids will fight tooth and nail but if there is anyone I want full health and wholeness for it's them.
Until then I will just have to keep sipping. It can only get easier, right?