"Big S little S what begins with S? Silly Sammy Slick drank six sodas and got sick sick sick."
Pretty much everyone in southern CA is sick right now because the temperature dropped below 70 and the indigenous peoples bodies simply don't know what to do. Their immune systems might actually be attacking themselves simply recognizing the need for jacket. So one of the local folk has coughed on me and here am I. I spent 4 hours in the ER to be seen by a medical student who told me I had a virus. I wish I hated anyone reading this, (if anyone reads this), enough to post a picture of what I coughed up yesterday morning. I actually took a picture of it because I have never coughed up something so big and so green in my whole life. I sent it to Travis to make sure I didn't need to call 911 and tell them I may be turning into the creature from the black lagoon from the inside out. Creature from the Black Lagoon Virus. That is what I have.
Aside from being sick, this month has really gotten off to a rocky start. I said in my last blog that I don't want to get into any detail here, but the past 7 days have not mimicked the style of the preceding month. I have been trying to work though some personal/relationship issues that I feel like I have sat on for a long time. I am not one to sit on issues, but this one is special and my all of a sudden standing and not only acknowledging it but ravenously sifting through all its layers trying to make sense of it without being placated by giving up and neatly covering it all back up to sit on it again, has created some waves in life to say the least.
I assume some of my out of the blue non complacency is partially due to my much lower dose of meds. 25mg does a lot less flat lining than 100mg- which is a good thing. It is important to feel things, good or bad. However I am not sure I was really prepared to follow through with feelings. What I mean is, this thing makes me feel bad; normally I would just find a way to cope with it, and medication aided tremendously in that coping. But with much less medicine (and soon none), I feel bad about something and I cannot find it in myself to just cope with it, but I also am unsure as to how to follow through with my need for change in a healthy way. Does that make sense?
Things aren't as black and white as I would like them to be sometimes. This particular situation isn't as easy as cope or don't, I have to find middle ground. I know what the middle ground is but I feel like I am trying desperately to land from sky or crawl from middle earth to get there. My middle ground is God. It is finding a way to trust so fully in God that this particular thing, (which I have no control over), cannot affect me positively or negatively. I feel very strongly that He has told me to "let go", stop fighting so hard to be right, and let Him do His job. This sounds really great in theory but man if it isn't the hardest thing on the planet to do, because I AM right. I am not just saying that to be cute, I really am in this case and I am not the only one who sees it. It is difficult to have the right answer, the answer that could change everything, and to just stop talking about it.
All that to say, I am working on it.
Haven't been able to work out at all because I am hacking up my insides, but I have still done well eating. Incorporated a little more dairy this past week than I would have liked, but still eating mostly protein veggie scramble which is really my most favorite thing. I have discovered that when I eat things like beans or dairy my stomach really doesn't respond in a happy way. It would seem that would speak volumes as to how everyone should feel eating those things, only we adjust to it or don't recognize its affects as being abnormal. I am willing to bet that if you stopped eating vegetables for a month your stomach wouldn't be upset when you reintroduced them. However, yogurt and granola is delicious. Hey, it's organic and better than eating cookies. I also cannot let go of popcorn. Popcorn is the new manna. If JB, (John the Baptist- he lets me call him that), were here he would eat popcorn and vanilla yogurt instead of locusts and honey. Just sayin.
I was gonna end this with a clever and funny photoshopped image of JB with popcorn and yogurt but when google imaged John the Baptist I couldn't decide which image was the best representation...mostly because they all seem so unrealistic and weird. So instead of photoshopping lets look at a few of the riveting images I found.
The first two I find pretty disturbing. Da Vinci was a genius but I think he really missed the mark with this one. It is less wild, insect eating man, more sensual, transgendered, come hither. I feel the same way about the second one by Titian only the beard takes away from the transgendered part.
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Up next we have someones really excellent computer paint skills. This artist is clearly illustrating JB's tendency towards insects for protein. Glad they aimed so high on the "teaching kids about scripture" artwork.
I decided to skip the 700 of them that looked similar to this next one because they are pretty par for the course Jesus/JB art. But just so you know, this is the norm. Sad and emaciated.
Last is my favorite and I am not sure it counts as art because it's actually a still shot from the "Bible" series that was on TV not that long ago. This JB has dreadlocks and, scruff. He is dirty and bloody from persecution. Probably lots more people than we would think actually had some form of a dreadlock back then, not so much for fashion as much as they probably brushed their hair with pine cones or reeds or something. Anyway, here is my favorite google image page 1 JB.
I am gonna go cough and eat my husbands spaghetti (first noodles in over a month) even though its wheat and chemical sauce and will probably make me feel disgusting, but its the best ever and I am sick. Cheers.
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